"Making It Make Sense" (SM) with Dr. Pamela Brewer
ABUSE CHECKLIST
KEEPING YOU AWAY FROM OTHER PEOPLE
Does your partner get angry when you talk on the phone? Does your partner open your mail without your permission? Does your partner keep you from seeing friends? Is your partner angry when you are just a little late getting home? Does your partner require you to be home at the hour he/she determines?
ALWAYS ON YOUR MIND
Do you worry about what your partner will think of your appearance? Do you ask your partner who you can go see or where you can go? Are you careful of what you say so that your partner will not get upset? Do you feel you are "walking on eggshells"?
PUTTING YOU DOWN: HUMILIATION
Does your partner call you names like "stupid", "bitch", or "whore"? Does your partner tell you what is "wrong" with you in front of other people? Has your partner made you do things about which you feel ashamed? Does your partner say that no one else would want you or love you? Does your partner blame you for everything "bad" or "wrong" in the relationship?
THREATS
Does your partner threaten to leave you as a way to exercise control? Has your partner said that he/she would go crazy or kill him/herself if you leave? Does your partner say you will be hit or hit you if you don't obey or disagree? Does your partner threaten to tell others intimate details about you/your relationship? Does your partner threaten to tell others untruths about you?
FEELING SICK AND TIRED
Does your partner keep you up late badgering you about past relationships? Do you work so hard to please your partner that you feel worn out? Do you feel sick, yet you are not sure what is wrong? Are you unable to do things you used to do easily? Is your self-esteem feeling shattered?
"SMALL" DEMANDS
Does your partner demand that dinner be served ring on the minute? Does your partner insist that the house look "just so"? Do you have to report how you spend every dollar?
SWEET TALK AND THREATS
After your partner has been mean is he/she sweet and loving? After your partner has hit you does your partner give you a present or take you out? When you decide to leave does your partner give you hope for change?