"Making It Make Sense" (SM) with Dr. Pamela Brewer
ANGER AWARENESS
ANGER MANAGEMENT
by Pamela Brewer, MSW, PH.D., LCSW-C
Our lives have changed. As we now work to move forward, and “settle in” to an awareness of our new future, it is important to focus on self-care. We can do little for others if we forget to care for ourselves. As the shock now begins to be laced with anger, it is important to understand our anger and what to do with the feelings. Here are some ways to think about self-care:
Anger and hurt are flip sides of the same coin. If you are feeling hurt, you are experiencing anger. If you are experiencing anger - you are experiencing hurt.
Because the feeling of power is often preferable to the feeling of vulnerability – we often “opt” for the angry feelings.
Anger is a normal, natural human emotion.
You can choose to act on your anger or not. If your experience of your anger is that you can not choose, please meet with a mental health professional right away. There is help available to you.
Even as we experience anger, it is important to participate in daily routines as much as possible.
Do not minimize your pain or compare your pain to others. Ultimately, this will exacerbate your feelings of internalized anger and shame.
Continue to reach out to the children and actively listen to their thoughts. Let them know that it is okay to feel angry or fearful or both.
Develop a plan to be in touch with people you care about on a regular basis.
Express your range of emotions - showing care not to harm yourself or others.
Do not forget to find joy in small things - the rain, the sun, a smile - they can bring great pleasure.
Continue with your appropriate health routines.
Do not use this as a time to engage in substance abuse.
Pay attention to your own safety needs.
Do not allow your fear to turn to rage and into excuses to harm others.
Turn to writing in a journal as one of the tools you use for self-expression.
Do not try to deny the effects of the recent trauma on your emotional/ social functioning.
Avoid making significant life decisions right now – if possible.
For those who have experienced past traumas – this may be a more difficult time – you may wish to work with a mental health professional.
Anger is often a defense against hurt – if you feel your anger growing to the point that you want to harm yourself or others – seek professional assistance now.