TALKING TO A CHILD ABOUT LOSS
by Pamela Brewer
EXAMPLES OF SIGNIFICANT LOSS EXPERIENCES
FOR CHILDREN
MOVING TO A NEW HOME
LOSS OF A SENSE OF SAFETY
LOSS OF STRUCTURE
MOVING TO A NEW SCHOOL
SUDDEN CHANGE IN FAMILY FINANCIAL STATUS
DEATH
LOSS OF A PET
SUDDEN HEALTH CHANGES FOR SELF/FAMILY/FRIENDS
DIVORCE
IT IS NOT USEFUL TO...
ASSUME THE CHILD IS TOO YOUNG TO EXPERIENCE LOSS
TRY TO FIX THE FEELINGS
TRY TO "REPLACE" THE LOSS
ASSURE THE CHILD THAT "TIME WILL MAKE IT GO AWAY"
ENCOURAGE THE CHILD TO "BE STRONG"
TELL THE CHILD NOT TO "FEEL BAD"
TELL THE CHILD TO "JUST KEEP BUSY"
ASSURE THE CHILD THAT THE LOVED ONE "LED A FULL LIFE" BEFORE THE CHILD IS READY FOR THIS CONCEPT - CHRONOLOGICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY
IT IS USEFUL TO...
TALK ABOUT THE LOSS
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES WITH LOSS
LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD'S FEELINGS ABOUT THE LOSS
ASK QUESTIONS
IT IS NORMAL FOR A CHILD TO...
DREAM ABOUT THE LOSS
BEGIN TO WORRY ABOUT HIS/HER OWN CARE/MORTALITY
TRY TO "TAKE CARE OF" THE ADULTS/OTHERS-BUT NOT HEALTHY FOR THE CHILD OR THE ADULT.
WHAT TO DO
ALLOW CHILD TO EXPRESS SORROW
ALLOW CHILD TO TALK ABOUT PAST AND FUTURE HOPES AND DREAMS; GOOD TIMES AND BAD
TALK ABOUT THE FEELINGS
INITIATE CONVERSATION WITH THE CHILD
MODEL THE EXPRESSION OF FEELINGS FOR CHILD
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