As the years roll on and the resolutions role by, it is
useful to look at what has/could work and what has not/likely not to work in
the future.
Perhaps the most critical step in creating New Year's
Resolutions that you can actually work on and accomplish for longer than the 20
minutes you may have taken to create them - is to look at the current reality
(not what you would like it to be - but what it is) of your life.A healthy view of reality is usually
the best place to start.Many may
need assistance in defining a healthy, accurate view of their reality.
We have long lived in a culture where the need to blame is
so prevalent that many of us almost routinely blame ourselves or someone for
almost everything.This is NOT a
healthy practice and interferes with our ability to take an objective healthy
look at ourselves and those around us.
For many people, resolutions are built on what they would
like to be true vs. what is true.Many of us make resolutions based on magical thinking - what we hope is coming,
what we believe is promised, what we would like to be true - so when our magical goals are not
realized, we tell ourselves we are shame filled, blame filled failures.
It is time for a change.
2010 RESOLUTIONS
PRIMER:
1-Start with a truthful internal inventory.
a.There are things about you that you like.
b.There are things about you that you don't like.
c.Do not worry.This is only proof that you are human.
2-Think about what makes YOU happy that YOU can
actually accomplish on your own. (This lets out winning the lottery)
3-Resolve to ask for help when things
feel like too much. (This includes help straightening the house or your heart
or your finances or your physical health or your spirit or your mental health).
4-Practice compassion for yourself as well as
others. Compassion does not require
agreement with others, it includes an attempt to try to understand from another person's perspective.
5-Learn flexible planning - mindful and joyful and
respectful of life with its options and complications.
6-Practice thoughtful environmental
observation.If you find yourself
feeling
instantly rageful or if you see conspiracy
theories behind every single door and have little else in your view, you are
not evaluating your environment in a way that shows you options.Seek help.
7-Rethink 2 critical words in your vocabulary -
mental health.Mental health
is the foundation for physical
health, relationship health, work health, indeed whole life health. Practice
reminding yourself that mental health is not a joke - it is your life.