IT'S A NEW YEAR...
AND THAT MEANS....
CHANGE!
HOW TO THINK ABOUT CHANGE WITHOUT SCARING YOURSELF INTO FEELING STUCK!
PAMELA BREWER, MSW, PH.D. MARYLAND . WASHINGTON, DC 301.654.5286 CLPSINC@AOL.COM
Whether you are approaching this new year with excitement or dread, whether you are coming back from vacation or looking forward to vacation, whether you have just paid all your bills, or wondering you will pay your bills, change is the common denominator.
There are those who embrace change, and they are those who dread change. Change is a normal and natural part of your daily living. If you think about it - every moment of every day is a change from every other moment from every other day. Whether you are going to the same job or not, talking to the same people and not, doing the same work or not - there is something different between yesterday and today. There is something different between this moment and the next moment. Change is inevitable. Change happens.
For those who are frightened of change, most often the fear is associated with feelings of being out of control. Out of control - not competent - a failure. No wonder change seems so daunting for so many. Here are some ways to think about the process of change. The truth is - change happens. Period. We are not going to stop it. So let's figure out how to survive it. Well.
Change is a normal and natural part of your daily living experience.
While you cannot control the fact of change,
you can control how you choose to respond to change.
Name the change.
Even in the process of naming (identifying) the thing/behavior/event/etc. that requires change - you are making it conceptually smaller and thus more manageable. For example, if you tell yourself you need to "cut expenses" That is a smaller concept than ruminating, for example, about the idea that you have"no money" or your life is "falling apart."
Identify resources to help with the change.
Whether you choose to use your resources is immaterial. Knowing that you have resources helps to reduce the potential anxiety associated with change. (Do not kid yourself into thinking you will eliminate all anxiety. However, by reducing the anxiety - you are better able to devise a plan for approaching the change.) Resources can be anything from the internet to a friend, a credit counselor, or your own skills/areas of expertise.
Compartmentalize the change.
What are the parts involved in effecting the change? In other words, what are the steps involved in the change? Make the steps small. For example, if you are wanting to cut expenses perhaps the first step is to list the expenses you have. Gathering your bills/receipts would be one step. Making a list of the bills/receipts is another step. Gathering the tools to list the bills is another step (Will you write the bills down on paper? Your computer?) Setting aside the time to gather and list the bills - 2 more steps.
Make your calendar your friend and begin the work of the first small component.
Use your calendar to make appointments with yourself for EACH part of your plan. If you think you need 20 minutes - schedule 40. In this way - you give your self ample time - and perhaps a treat of free time if you finish early!
Acknowledge/redefine your success.
To often we define success as the end of the change and fail to acknowledge each step.
"Celebrate" each success.
Celebration can be in the form of a relaxing cup of tea - or a look in the mirror with an acknowledgement "I completed this part"
Work the next small component, using the steps outlined above and watch your success grow. Watch yourself survive the change!
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