MARCH IS WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH. DURING THIS MONTH IN PARTICULAR, THERE IS A FOCUS IS ON THE GOOD AND EXTRAORDINARY ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF WOMEN - THOSE ACTS IN WHICH WOMEN ENGAGE FOR THE BETTERMENT OF OTHERS. WHAT ABOUT HOW SHE TREATS HERSELF.
Women have long been socialized to talk, to listen, to understand, to help and to heal. While these are all good and important skills, they can backfire when a woman pays more attention to her perceived duties than reality.
WHAT SHE DOES: Date her perspective partner's potential. Potential can sometimes be very different from reality.
WHAT SHE CAN DO: Pretend she is her own best friend and take a reality look at her best friend's date. From a more distant perspective, perhaps one with more protectiveness, the view might be very different.
WHAT SHE DOES: Stay in a room, engaged in dialogue with someone who is being abusive and neglectful.
WHAT SHE CAN DO: Leave the room. Do not stay in a conversation that is hurtful or disrespectful.
WHAT SHE DOES: Apologize for her partner's behavior.
WHAT SHE CAN DO: Allow her partner to take ownership for his/her own behavior.
WHAT SHE DOES: Apologize for her feelings.
WHAT SHE CAN DO: Own her feelings. They are what they are. But! It is important to be mindful of the behaviors that can flow from feelings.
WHAT SHE DOES: Keep her thoughts and feelings to herself possibly believing that it's rude or impolite to express thoughts or feelings, particularly if they are different from the person about whom she cares. She might also tell herself and her partner "If you loved me you would just know."
WHAT SHE CAN DO: Let go of the myth. No one is responsible for mind reading. No one. If a situation/relationship is such that it is unsafe to disagree, if possible leave the situation/relationship. If it does not appear to be possible, reach out for help.