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VITRIOL 2011
By Pamela Brewer, MSW, Ph.D., LCSW-C
It is difficult these days to experience 24 hours without
either hearing about or experiencing anger extremes. You know you are in trouble when your experience of the
anger regularly leaves you muttering and raging to yourself, the television,
the radio, the newspaper, your friends or your family.
While the rush of emotions may have some initial and even
conversational appeal, after a while, it is little more than you assisting yourself to be less
healthy.
Certainly life can throw many things your way - things with
which you may not agree or like at all. But when you allow your own anger
quotient to change you - there is a problem.
THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR ANGER:
Anger is a normal human emotion.
Anger/hurt are often flip sides of the same coin.
It is less the fact of the anger, than it is what
you do with your anger that can be an issue.
Do not try to ignore
or stuff your feelings.
Do consider that if your anger is over the top (and you very
likely know when your anger is over the top) there is more going on than the
particular person/event that you believe has riled you.
People who have ongoing difficulty with managing their anger are often people who experience low self esteem, poor frustration tolerance,
and attach meaning to the anger-inducing event beyond the facts of the event.
SIGNS YOU ARE NOT
MANAGING YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS WELL:
You do not believe you have control over yourself.
You believe that others are responsible for the way you fail
to manage your rage.
The only option you believe you have is to yell, scream,
rage or otherwise harm yourself and others.
You find you can "only" discharge your rage by throwing,
hitting or otherwise harming yourself, your property or others.
Your anger takes you to thoughts and/or plans of somehow
avenging yourself/your group/etc.
REMINDERS FOR
HEALTHY ANGER MANAGEMENT:
Acknowledge the thing(s), person (people), etc. that create
an angry response within you.
Identify your "hot button" issues.
Identify a self-management plan.
Accept that you have a right to your views - as do others.
You do not have to be angry with those who do not share you
experience.
Seek professional evaluation/help if you/others express
concerns about your anger management skills.
LET'S BE CLEAR:
EXPLOSIVE ANGER IS Neither HEALTHY, POWERFUL OR PRODUCTIVE.
CHRONIC EXPLOSIVE ANGER HARMS YOU PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY.
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